nails

currently I'm sitting in a nail salon getting my nails done. my toe nails are a little dark. I failed a chemistry quiz, cried awkwardly in my dorm room while my roommate was half awake/half asleep so that was fun. I'm just having a lot tougher time in college than I thought. I don't know what to do and I don't know who to talk to it about and I don't know when I have to decide and that scares me. I don't want classes to keep me from my dream career but what if I'm supposed to be something else?

guacamole

holy cow how is it even possible I wrote all of that stuff just two years ago. It literally seems like a lifetime.
you know when you walk into a dark room for the first time with only a flashlight(or your iphone, hello 21st century) and kind of scan the room with the light. you take in everything you see really slowly carefully so you can know where stuff is and comprehend it. thats how it felt reading those old posts. like something I had never seen before, completely new. it doesn't even sound like my writing. I like the way it sounds, but it dosen't sound like me. or at least the me that is me today.
according to blogger, less than 72 people on average look at this blog a month. wow ally you are so popular. but those less than 72 people, hello- here is what is going on in my life today
this morning i woke up at 8:16 having overslept breakfast in the BLUU which I promptly eat alone everyday at 8:15. then I went to chemistry(yawn) but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. then I tried to go to the apple store to get a new phone, line was too long- left. then I came back to my dorm room and laid down and watched New Girl, since they just put up the second season on Netflix. After that I went to psychology which I learned nothing and criminal justice in which I rediscovered this little gem.
so as I've said before, and I'm sure I'll say again- I'm going to start blogging again!! I've had a pretty rough go of it lately and according to the therapists I see on scripted TV shows "writing you feelings out" generally helps. Obviously I'm not going to hand write this because that would take a lifetime and I want to use my lifetime to do something else.
also in rereading this blog I remembered "you have to love the pay off more than you hate the pain" which made me think about my recent struggle with going to the gym. which for me causes actual pain every time I go because I don't go often enough. so as I've said before and am probably going to say again- I'm going to start working out more!!!!! apparently- according to legally blonde- working out releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy and happy people don't kill their husbands so there's that.

that's all for today. my sisters birthday is tomorrow.